The Anatomy of Moe

What makes a good moe character is a topic of immense discussion and scrutiny amongst the otaku(nerd) kind. So what makes a good moe? After viewing many many shows of this topic and spending extensive time observing galge (no really...seriously I was just...research...yeah...) it's come to my attention that what makes a character moe CAN be categorized. After all the archetype will appear over and over in mass media and be instantly recognizable so the moe in theory should be too.

So what makes a girl moe? Number one of all the things I've seen, this is maybe one of if not the most important : they have to be STUPID. Ok, too strong a word. Let's try...mental age deficiency. If they have the mentality of a 6 year old, you've scored yourself a moe! There's nothing better to an h-obsessed otaku than a teenager stupider than himself. After all, it's a security blanket for those who are lacking confidence knowing that your preferred gal-pal is a needy child trapped in a teenager's body. As a bonus, most moe girls tend to make random noises as their emotional range changes...usually on the off side. If you ever hear a stray "Uguu~..." then you know for sure that your moe girl is not feeling too well...sort of like a pet kitten.



Which leads to the next item of almost parallel importance...eccentricity! A stupid girl with an eccentric personality creates a conundrum. In real life they'd be horrifically annoying to murderous degrees. However in the world of the otaku, this is perhaps the most endearing type of girl there is. Does she like starfish to a sickening degree? Perhaps it's aliens? A belief in the supernatural? An insane animal lover? It could be collecting paper clips as long as it's brought to the hyper extreme spectrum. Happy, sad, angry or overzealous...you need to find someone with a quickly identifiable personality trait and then crank it up 1000 times and you'll see exactly how a moe girl behaves.



But why is it that they all behave in such a manner? Ah, here comes the answer. Tragedy. Stone cold, harsh, bitter reality raping their childhoods of any sense of safety. What I mean is a loss in the family or something equivalent or greater you damn perverts! Anyway, did they lose a childhood friend? A parent? A favorite pet? Perhaps they're even the ones that were lost! This great tragedy must have the averse effect of creating the eccentric personality to hide their past sorrows because it's so great that you wonder how they're NOT in therapy. Take heart, childhood friends are usually the BEST candidate for this requirement. If you knew her more than 5 years prior to your reunion...then holy hell she's got baggage that'd make grown men cry!

This brings us to the otaku himself. Yes that's right, here's where the appeal occurs. The otaku is fascinated in the idea of being there for others. Despite their lack of confidence in dealing with the opposite sex, they strive to be understood and needed. The moe girl is perfect then for the otaku as they can now fantasize about being a facilitator emotionally. Breaking through their mental guard walls, the otaku strikes a forward attack of affection to crack that eccentric shell and find the incredibly girly (and sexy) core within. At least that's what they'd like to do. However seeing as in real life we all have problems that require hours of yapping into our friend's ears the otaku sees no hope of doing such a thing in the 3D world and hence has regressed into watching (or playing) stories where they are indeed this individual of incredible ability.

Any other items aren't necessary but they can greatly enhance the moe girl's appeal. She can even be a fluffy rainbow dinosaur that soars on magic clouds of licorice dust and it wouldn't matter. Because in truth she's simply an insecure girl in search of that guy DESTINED to solve all of their mental deficiencies. Of course once he does, the only difference in said girl ends up being that they love said guy yet they continue to behave in exactly the same manner sans all the feverish blushing.

Yes, there's a lot of facts in this writing that probably make no sense. But isn't that the point? I've spent enough time explaining this to ya...so off you go into the world to find your own moe girl. Uguu~...